- The Hopeful Father
We were pregnant naturally!!
I could not actually believe what was happening. Although my wife was waking up at 6am every day so I could take her temperature, she rarely asked what it was, had she "peaked" or what the chart looked like, so when the window for her normal period passed it didnt say much to her so as not to get her hopes up. She had a very light bit of spotting on day 28, which is when she normally starts, but that was it.....we both thought it was strange and carried on. i noticed her temperature was consistently high for about the whole week after that, she was now over 1 week late, could this be true???
I left it for another few days, she started to get some syptoms. She was constantly hungry and had tender breasts. We decided to do a test.
We woke up that morning and could not contain the anticipation. My wife took the test and then somewhat strangely forgot about it. She carred on in the bathroom, cleaning her teeth whilst the test sat next to me in bed. Our cat started staring at it as intently as I was, so see is she was about to have a sister or brother.
It was positive, and said she was about 3-5 weeks pregnant, it was the most amazing feeling, I decided to play it cool. My wife came back after about 10 minutes and climbed into bed, I think she was just expecting a negitive test so didnt ask about it. "Oh, by the way, were pregnant" I think were my exact words, a barrage of "dont be silly", "youre lying" and "I dont believe it" came at me thick and fast until I showed her the test. I had not seen her this happy since our wedding day, we hugged and cried for hours that morning. We believed our dream had come true.
For the next few weeks we were so happy, our lives completely changed, we just seemed more attached as a couple, more in love than we had done in a while. My wife was so happy and I loved seeing her like that, it made me so happy. I had finally produced a good sperm and was able to father a child!.
We slowed down abit at the gym, but carried on with the good quality diet food.
We boked in to have a scan at 6 weeks, which was advised as my wife is a little older than me. Here our world fell apart again. The lady carring out the scan was trying to be positive, but said she could not find the baby on the ultrasound. We were gutted. The doctor suggested another scan after another 2 weeks as sometimes they cant find the heartbeat at 6 weeks, but I think this was just a way of keeping our hopes up. Deep down we felt the truth, we just had to wait now.
I remember the exact time my heart broke. We had just been to the gym and my wife went to the toilet, she had been gone for some time which was strange. When she returned her face was red and her eyes filled wth tears, she saw me and broke down. We held each other there in the gym reception in knotting pain, our dream was over, she was having a miscarriage.
We went home and fell into bed, both of us just felt that empty pain again. I think it was worse this time as it hadnt been through IVF, she had got pregnant naturally. I think we both though as it was a "miracle conception" we would also have a "miracle birth". Emotionally we had been hit by a bus. Both our cats could see the pain and wouldnt leave us alone, which was lovely, they always know when you need them the most. The smallest one, thankfully, would sit on my wifes stomach for hours offering her solace.
We had hit a low point again, after such a high. How would we move on this time, could we?